Hot doctors, anesthesia stories, side-parts, diets over the years, and a reminder that we cannot police the world or the internet.
This is Joy & Claire Episode 63: Parts
Episode Date: February 25, 2021
Audio Length: 50:58 minutes
Joy: Hey guys, this is Joy.
Claire: And this is Claire.
Joy: And this is Joy and Claire. We have new microphones. Do we sound so great? I was almost going to sing a Mariah Carey song, and then I was like, no I can’t do that.
Claire: No, Sandy would get mad. I know, it’s so fancy.
Joy: You know, this is what happens when you’ve been podcasting for eight years. You get new equipment.
Claire: You get a new microphone one time. Although Miles came in and he was like, “What is that?” Because our old ones made us look like air traffic controllers, and these ones actually make you feel like you’re in an old-time radio station.
Joy: Yeah, it is kind of cool. You’re up close and personal to the microphone.
Joy: And it’s almost like when they lower the microphone – at least, mine’s kind of hanging upside down. It makes me feel like I’m at a boxing match where they’re like, “Let’s get ready to rumble” and the mic comes down in front of you.
Joy: Let’s just spend the whole hour talking about microphones.
Claire: I hope you guys are as excited about this as we are. So last week we made the horrible mistake –
Claire: – of not telling you guys about all of the embarrassing anesthesia stories and hot doctor stories that you had written in. So we are going to kick this week off and we’re not going to waste a single moment and we’re going to start talking to you guys about some hot doctors. Because we got some pretty good stories.
Joy: Yeah, and this is so funny because we had some of the comments, some people messaged us, but really the one’s that we’re going to read are the ones that are in our email because we lose – just hot tip if you want us to read anything, send it to us in the email. Otherwise if you DM us a story, it’s going to get lost.
Claire: I actually did screenshot one though because I knew that was going to happen, but I loved it so much that I screenshotted it. Not that if I didn’t screenshot yours I didn’t love it. Just means I didn’t think about it in the moment.
Joy: Okay great.
Claire: Okay great. Go ahead, get us started.
Joy: So I have a hot doctor story. It says, “Hey friends, this isn’t a coming out of anesthesia story, but it is a hot doctor story. So take it or leave it. When I was 21 and home from college for the summer, I had a really gross medical issue. Sorry in advance. But I had to go to the ER in the middle of the night. Long story short, I had a throat infection that turned into an abscess inside my tonsil.” Hey, just a little pause for a moment. It’s not graphic, but just if you’re like super sensitive just maybe fast forward. I was fine reading it. Okay, back to the email. “My tonsil got so swollen it was starting to clock my airway and cause me to wheeze. The medical resident in the ER had to stick a needle into my tonsil and drain out the infection.” Super gross! “While I gagged and screamed bloody murder. The resident incidentally was maybe a few years older than me and he was super hot. I would have been mortified had I not been in so much pain. After a weeklong stay in the hospital on IV drugs, I was finally recovered enough to return home and to my summer job as a golf course waitress. My first day back at work, a bachelor party came in. They had just finished a round of golf and about, oh, six beers each. I waited on their table. It took me a minute to realize why one of the guys looked to familiar. He was the hot doctor who drained my tonsil. The last time I had seen him, I had been in the most disgusting medical situation of my entire life. He looked at me knowingly too. Of course, because of HIPAA laws, he didn’t say anything. But I, in all my socially awkward glory, decided to say, ‘Hey, I was your patient a couple weeks ago.’ He was very kind about the whole thing and told me he was glad to see me feeling better. Unfortunately I knew he’d never, ever, ever want to kiss me. Note, I’m now in my 40’s and happily, not to a doctor.”
Claire: I’ve got to wonder – you get top secret security clearance, they make sure you don’t talk in your sleep. They make sure you don’t say things when you’re drunk. I’ve always wondered with HIPAA if you see someone out and about who you’ve treated, you’re not allowed to say anything to them about it. They have to initiate it. But what if you did get wasted and you were like, “Hey man, how’s your gross tonsil abscess?”
Joy: Oh my gosh.
Claire: Oh no.
Joy: That would be some serious “no no” in the medical community.
Claire: Yes, but I could totally see it happening.
Joy: I wonder if it’s happened before.
Claire: It has to have happened. Okay, here’s the one I screenshotted. “I love the episode today. I have a funny anesthesia story for you both. Freshman year of college I had to get a pretty invasive knee surgery.” Oh, this is an anesthesia one, not a hot doctor one.
Joy: Okay, okay.
Claire: “I had to get a pretty invasive knee surgery. My surgery was scheduled for 8am, so I had fasted since 8pm the night before. The surgery ran five hours late, so it was 1pm before I even got into surgery. First of all, I woke up during the surgery. It was only for a few seconds. I have always run through anesthesia really fast. The dentist had always told me she was impressed at how fast I go through it. Anywho, woke up during surgery. All I remember is seeing a crazy bright light and a face and someone saying, ‘Oh crap, she’s awake.’ Then I went back to sleep. After waking up from surgery at 4pm, I was starving and very cranky. I don’t remember any of this, but my grandma who drove me there and waited for me said they offered me Saltines and juice after waking up and I said, ‘Absolutely not. I’m Paleo. I will only eat salad.’ Then she said they were trying to help me to the wheelchair to try and go to the bathroom and I said, ‘I can do it myself.’ They said, ‘You just had surgery, we need to help you.’ I apparently said, ‘If my surgeon was as good as he says he is, I won’t need help.’ Turns out I needed help. Mind you, I remember none of this. Very embarrassing when I had to go back a week later for my post-op checkup.” Then she said, “They had no problem reminding me of it every time I went in for a post-op checkup and had to pass by their office, every time I went in for a physical therapy.”
Joy: It totally reminds me of your father-in-law’s tubes.
Claire: He was very insistent that this was his tubing, he had paid for it.
Joy: Or your teeth. You said you wanted this. Oh my gosh.
Claire: It’s got to happen all the time.
Joy: Oh my gosh. Okay, I do not want to miss this one because it’s so good. This listener commented on our Instagram post when we post the episode, and she says, “I’ve been waiting my whole life for someone to ask my hot doc story. When I was in college about to urgently get my appendix taken out, the hot resident was questioning my hunger levels and asked me what my favorite food was. And I said, “Sushi.” In my drugged-up stupor, I thought he was actually asking if I wanted some. After surgery, I sent him a thank you card with my number in it, and he called and took me out to sushi.” I was like, what!
Claire: That, oh my gosh, I would be mortified.
Joy: And someone replied and said, “Are y’all married now?”
Claire: And she said, “We had some funny nights out with friends after that, but he was a bit too serious for me.” And she said, “Maybe definitely had to do with the fact that I was in college.” Oh my gosh, it’s so funny. Okay, this one says, “I have a couple of anesthesia stories. I was coming out of it after a procedure and I just wouldn’t wake up. My husband kept talking to me and trying to get me to fully wake up. The nurse gave me sugar and then I started crying because my shoe came off. ‘But I need my shoes! How will I leave? Get me out of here.’ My husband had surgery in college and he was in the twilight zone. The nurses were talking about their husbands and one was really concerned about something hers was doing. Husband yells, ‘Oh geez, he’s totally cheating on you. Just dump him.’ Also, thanks for the great show.” Oh, you’re welcome. That’s from @lionsmanenutrition.
Claire: Okay, so this one is waking up from wisdom teeth. Which I feel like there are a lot of good wisdom teeth stories because, A, a lot of people that was the first time they ever were put under. And, B, when you’re getting your wisdom teeth taken out, you pretty much get up and leave immediately. I feel like it’s one of the few scenarios where you’re out in the wild while coming out of anesthesia. Most places if you’re getting surgery, you’re in the recovery room or you’re in the hospital for a little while.
Claire: Okay, so this one says, “The only time I’ve been under was for my wisdom teeth. When I woke up, my arms were tied to the chair. I never did figure out why. My parents couldn’t figure out that I wanted KFC mashed potatoes. Then when I wanted to go to the bathroom, I was told that someone needed to go in with me for safety. Which led to a long argument about not needing help to use the toilet and my parents refusing to stop at a gas station because it is dirty. I saw the gauze in the mirror and tried to take it out, still in the doctor’s office. I spilled water all down my front when I tried to drink because I couldn’t wait. So basically I turned into a stubborn a**hole who can do everything myself when I’m put under.”
Joy: Oh my God.
Claire: I feel like I would like to know do these tendencies of your post-anesthesia self, are they the same way that you get when you’re drunk.
Joy: I wonder. I absolutely wonder. That’s a really good question. This one says, “I was about to go through an egg retrieval for IVF, which requires brief anesthesia. And as a 30-year-old at the time, it felt super invasive and over the top somehow. My husband and I were waiting for the anesthesiologist. It turned out to be the guy who took me to his senior prom, and he had the first name as my husband.”
Claire: Oh my gosh, I read that one to Brandon. He was just mortified.
Claire: I tried to ask Brandon if he had any good ones because he’s an OR nurse. He was like, no, he’s not the guy who takes them. Brandon is the nurse who comes in and says, “Hey, I’m Brandon. Here’s what we’re doing today. Can you confirm your birthdate with me,” whatever. But he usually leaves before they get put under and then doesn’t see them again when they’re done. He’s not like the post-doc nurse.
Joy: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Claire: He didn’t have anything for me.
Joy: Okay, this says, “I was having a surgery on my wrist and the anesthesiologist was telling the surgeon lady that he and his wife were raising triplet girls who were about to become teenagers. At that time, my daughter was two and I was having a hard time keeping up with just her. So while I was in the twilight zone, I insisted that he told me the secret of not going insane – or his wife not going insane, to be exact – while raising triplets. His answer was a live-in nanny. Which was out of my budget, but hey at least I felt better for his wife.” How do you keep sane?
Claire: I mean, guys, I have one of those. I would highly recommend it.
Joy: Highly recommend it.
Claire: It’s not that expensive, check it out. It’s cheaper than day care, especially for more than one kid. Okay let’s do one more.
Joy: One more. It says, “When I was in college, I got put under for the first time for wisdom teeth surgery. I remember waking up out of surgery and feeling a little woozy, a little drunk, but totally fine. But I had heard so many stories about people having crazy experiences, so I was on high alert to say ‘normal’ and not make a fool of myself.” I love that you’re trying not to do it. That happened to me with one of my surgeries. I was like, “Don’t fall asleep, don’t fall asleep.”
Claire: Be cool, be cool, be cool.
Joy: “Well, they start walking me out down a hallway and I see an adorable golden retriever puppy coming towards me. Mind you, I’m at a dentist office, so I’m like, ‘Wow, I think I’m hallucinating. I see a dog in the hallway.’ And the nurses were like, ‘No, there’s really a dog there.’ And in my state of confusion, I was like, ‘You sure?’ And they made it seem totally normal that a dog was in the office. I questioned my sanity and couldn’t stop giggling at the ridiculousness of it. I know this isn’t the funniest, but any story with a dog is a good one.” Yes, it is. But I love that it’s the perfect timing to have something that’s totally unrealistic in the –
Claire: It’s be like Billy Madison and the penguin.
Joy: Totally. You’re like, “No, is that really a dog?” Yeah.
Claire: No, no, no, you don’t understand.
Joy: Thank you guys.
Claire: Are you really seeing this? So thank you for those. Those are hilarious. I love that we –
Joy: I’m sorry we missed it last week.
Claire: I know. As soon as we were done, I sent Joy a text and I was like, “Joy.”
Joy: How did we miss that?
Claire: How did we miss this. Okay, other important thing that we really need to talk about is the hair part saga.
Joy: Is it a saga?
Claire: Is it a saga? The drama.
Joy: First of all, where did it come from because I saw a post about it I don’t know where, probably on Instagram, and I immediately felt my age. Which I don’t like saying that because I’m not old but I am not of a younger generation.
Claire: Right, yeah.
Joy: I’m like, okay, what’s the big deal about this? What is it about? Why is it a big deal?
Claire: So I think it came from TikTok, which would make sense because it’s where all the young people are. And basically it was like, I don’t know the original one, but it quickly turned into a bandwagon of basically saying, “Hey Millennials, your skinny jeans and your side parts are out of date. And when you’re wearing skinny jeans and have a side part, you’re dating yourself. Only Millennials have a side part and skinny jeans anymore. Part your hair in the middle already. Get with the time. And wear some wider pants.” And the responses to this have been hilarious. And honestly guys, we all have bigger things to worry about here, but I just feel the need to address this.
Joy: Please. Because I was like, why is it a big deal? And what about Gen X? What’s the story for Gen X?
Claire: Everyone’s forgotten about you already.
Joy: They forgot [laughing].
Claire: But I think basically it’s them saying, everybody still thinks that skinny jeans and side parts are still in. They’re not in. Stop trying to make side parts happen.
Joy: So it’s kind of like when Gen X started getting annoyed with the Millennials.
Claire: Now Gen Z is like, you guys look old.
Joy: Annoyed with the Millennials, okay. Got it.
Claire: You know. So then all these Millennial bloggers and stuff are like, “What the heck are you talking about? I look like Cousin Itt when my hair is parted down the center.” Here’s the thing. I started parting my hair down the center, what, a couple of – I feel like I got on the bandwagon just in the nick of time. I got that hair cut right before –
Joy: Right before they started making it a deal.
Claire: I still am getting used to it. Because I’ve been parting my hair on the side for so long. And here’s the thing is, anyone who started parting their hair on the side in high school or college, their pre-part self, my side part was really my first conscious decision I made about my own hair.
Joy: Mm, okay.
Claire: That was not like – maybe in middle school I got some highlights once or something, but for the most part I didn’t give it a lot of thought.
Claire: Or, you know, I did the micro buns.
Joy: Sure. The micro buns. Wait, you wore that as a style? Like a full-on style to school?
Claire: Oh yeah. I would go early, and I would use the rubber bands that came with my expander.
Joy: Those teeny tiny things?
Claire: No, they weren’t that teeny. It was the ones that went back and forth between the back of my jaw to the front of my jaw.
Joy: Oh I was thinking of the braces ones. I was like, how did you?
Claire: Oh no, no, no, no. You have to use tweezers to put those on. No, no, no, no. I would use those orthodontic braces. If that doesn’t date you to exactly the point of my life that I was doing this. So my side part was the first time where I was like, “Oh, this is cool. I’m going to do this.”
Joy: And was there someone who made you –
Claire: Yeah, Kristin Cavallari.
Joy: Oh, yes.
Claire: Duh. I was like, if Kristin Cavallari has a side part, I need a side part.
Joy: And you were really into –
Claire: Laguna Beach.
Joy: Laguna Beach, thank you. You were really into Laguna Beach, but not The Hills?
Claire: Yes. I didn’t go on to also be into The Hills.
Joy: Because you were like, “I’m in college” –
Claire: Mostly because, yeah, by that point, I wasn’t really watching TV as much.
Claire: And I think that that is the case. Here’s my hypothesis is all of us Millennials who are being told it’s time to part your hair in the center, we’re all like, “No, no, no, you don’t understand. I’m going to look like a 5th grader because the last time I did this was when I was fresh in the middle of or fresh out of puberty.”
Claire: So the center part does not represent a stylish time in our lives.
Joy: Okay. Yeah, it’s so interesting because I was always middle parting. And then I don’ know. I’ve always been a little side part, middle part, I’ve never had one part.
Claire: Yeah, I’ve slipped back and forth on my sides, but it’s always been the side part since high school.
Joy: Now it’s not okay.
Claire: Now, yeah. And then my hair stylist has been trying to get me to go to the center for forever. Whatever, I finally did it, and all this stuff happened. But that’s my hypothesis is why it feels like a big deal. It’s because we’re all like, “You don’t understand. I’ve done the middle part, and I wasn’t cool.”
Joy: Right, we did it when it was not cool. You’re taking us back to a not-cool thing.
Claire: You’re regressing us back into a not-cool time. And then the skinny jeans, I mean, whatever. I don’t care. Who’s wearing jeans right now is my question?
Joy: So they said not to wear skinny jeans.
Claire: No skinny jeans. Straight leg pant or a slightly wider cut. So straight leg or a tapered, but not a skinny. So many rules.
Joy: But here’s the thing. If I dressed – I go back and forth sometimes because Scott will see something really cool and he’ll be like, “Oh, you should get this.”
Claire: Right, your man fashion consultant.
Joy: Where on earth would I wear that?
Claire: I love when he does that. He’s like, “Joy, have you seen this vegan cowhide, duster blazer jacket with an extendable hood?” And you’re like, “To where will I wear this?”
Joy: Where would I wear that? And I wish I lived in a place where I could wear that. Yeah, sure, I can put on whatever I want. But you’re in Denver. I wouldn’t have the energy to go outside wearing something like that.
Joy: It’s not practical. I think there was a couple times too right after Christmas, these amazing ragging bone shoes were on sale. “Oh my gosh, these beautiful stiletto boots.” Where on earth am I going to wear those? Where on earth am I going to wear those? I don’t live on a reality TV show. I don’t.
Claire: If you personally have felt personally victimized by the hair parting scandal, please let us know. I kind of feel like – however, I was talking to the only other person I talk to, my friend Heather. Hi Heather.
Joy: Hey, Heather. Everybody knows Heather.
Claire: And she bought up a good point, which was like, “Listen. I don’t feel the need to be up with the latest trends all the time. But if given the choice, I will make an effort to not date myself by my fashion choices.” And she made the example of recently being in an appointment for something, walking up to the receptionist table. And based on the women who were sitting at the table, you looked at their hairstyles and you can immediately tell these women are probably in their late 50’s, just based on their hairstyle. Think about like, there are definitely certain styles of clothes and certain types of hair the date people in certain generations. And none of that’s a bad thing. But that is sort of like, listen, if you were to look – and I don’t know. I have mixed feelings about it too because it’s like I don’t necessarily care that someone looks at me in a certain way. Like, “Oh, you must be in your early to mid 30’s.” Yes, correct. I am in fact 33. Congratulations. But at the same time of not wanting that to be what sticks with people. Like, “Oh yeah, the grandma with the dance mom hair.”
Joy: Right. Or what they call “soccer mom hair.”
Claire: Exactly. Or the Karen haircut, or whatever. So I don’t know. I think it’s a very silly thing to be up in arms about. I feel like you can part your hair wherever you want. I don’t feel like you should make fashion choices based on what other younger people think about you. And I also find it interesting to find out that, hey, you’re starting to date yourself with that. Maybe you can change it up. Okay, I accept that feedback.
Joy: I accept updating your look, but I am also very aware – what I was saying earlier, I didn’t finish my thought is I will sometimes look at things and be like, “That’s cute,” but also, I’m 43. I don’t know if I should be wearing that. There’s a lot of things that I’ll at and I don’t know if I should be wearing that. And truly, this is not coming from a place of shame or self-loathing. It’s just more of, I don’t know if I should be wearing –
Claire: Good for you, not for me.
Joy: Yeah. I don’t think I should be wearing this at my age type of thing.
Claire: You know who I love? And obviously I am not fashion forward. I pretty much have been making the same outfit choices my whole life. But who I love hearing talking about fashion as you age is Stacy London.
Joy: Oh yeah.
Claire: The What Not to Wear lady. She’s like, none of the rules that I made for all these people back in the early 2000’s still matter to me because I’ve moved on. These fashion choices that I used to make all the time, they’re not appropriate for me anymore. And it’s less about not being “age appropriate” and more just like not being this is not the type of person that I feel that I am anymore. This is more in line with a younger person, and I don’t feel like that.
Joy: That’s a really good point. That’s a good point, yeah.
Claire: It’s not that you can’t wear that if you’re over 40. It’s more like, listen, I want to look my age. This is not a problem. I don’t identify with that style. It’s not about –
Joy: And then I can turn the corner and wear glitter and, you know, every color of the rainbow.
Claire: Right, I mean you wear glitter eye liner. So it’s not about aging or not, not being age appropriate or not. More what feels like you. And as your age changes, that changes. And also, I still feel like every time I wear my hair in a pony tail with a center part I look like Mel Brooks – Mel Brooks. [laughing] I don’t look like Mel Brooks. Mel Gipson in The Patriot. Every time, I have to be like, okay, it’s fine, this little spot on my forehead that is a little bit eggy. It’s going to be fine. No one else notices.
Joy: No one else notices. No one else notices. I guarantee everyone out there who you have some weird thing about your looks that you think people are going to see – A, who cares? But B, they do not notice.
Claire: No one notices. No one notices.
Joy: No one notices.
Claire: Like one of my eyes opens farther than the other one.
Joy: Don’t notice.
Claire: No one has ever noticed.
Joy: No, I don’t notice it, and I’ve known you for years.
Claire: Right, exactly. I think the other thing, and I feel like we might have talked about this recently, is that no one also notices if you gain or lose ten to twenty to thirty pounds. You notice. You notice five pounds. Unless it’s sudden and rapid, I don’t ever notice if I see my friends and they’ve put on a couple pounds. Never.
Joy: I think there’s people out there that would say there’s people that will notice and comment on it, as we’ve talked about before.
Claire: F*** those guys. But I mean, I just think, maybe those people are looking for it. And it’s like if you spot it, you got it. But there’s just all those little things that we all just worry about so much and no one else notices because they’re not worried about you. They’re worried about themselves, and they’re worried about you worrying about them.
Joy: This is in line with something that someone asked about in one of our posts for questions, and it kind of transfers nicely. It’s talking about our thoughts on diet culture and how we’ve grown since the Girls Gone WOD days. “It would be interesting to hear you guys revisit your old GGW topics with the new perspective from your growth through diet culture. I’m thinking different diets like macros, your fitness routines current gym family, your current ways of eating, etc. It would be cool to see the growth.” And we had a lot of people saying, “Yes” to this, so they want to hear about that. So maybe a brief thought about it? I don’t know if we want to go down to the roots with it.
Claire: I feel like we’ve talked about it. I definitely talk a lot about it. Maybe I just think a lot about it and we don’t really talk about it. I think that something that we used to say is still really true, which is you never arrive at an acceptance of not dieting or an acceptance of every single piece of your body. Or the pressure to live in that head space never completely goes away. And because we’re seeing it everywhere all the time still, even if you know that it’s toxic and that it’s not what you want, just seeing it, it’s so easy to have that immediate knee-jerk reaction of, “Oh, I should go back to counting macros.” Or, “Oh, I should be doing X, Y, Z.” And I think on the other hand from that, I have counted macros in the past year. I do work out very regularly right now. I do make a lot of choices that are the same choices but for different reasons.
Joy: Right because I was going to ask, looking back have you been like, “Wow, ten years ago whatever diet I was doing, I can’t believe I did that” or are you kind of like –
Claire: Not really. For me, it’s always – and I know we talk about how I’m an outlier in the sense that I really can do things just to gain the information. I think back to my second year doing CrossFit when I did a bunch of Zone, basically did a cut without calling it that or knowing that’s what it was.
Joy: I hate that word.
Claire: I know. I said I achieved exactly what I set out to achieve and then I moved on. It was really interesting, and definitely there have been times since then where I’ve thought, “What was different about that six-week period where it felt so easy to stick with that and it felt so doable and so attainable.” And it’s like, oh, because I had nothing freaking else to do.
Joy: Right. That’s when you were focused on, yeah.
Claire: I wasn’t even married yet. I don’t even think we were engaged. I was dating Brandon, we were living together. I was working at a job that really didn’t require all of my attention, so I could spend a ton of time in the gym and a ton of time meal prepping and weighing and measuring and doing all this stuff and worrying about that. I think because I have a really logical brain about that, I can look back at those previous times in my life and think, “That was then Claire. Wasn’t that a fun experiment for her.” Maybe it’s because I don’ that any lasting ill effects from it. I don’t feel like I developed any thought patterns that I can’t get rid of. It wasn’t physically damaging. That I can do that, just, “Yeah, sure, that happened.” But I think the biggest thing that’s changed for me is that it’s so much easier now for me to really be respectful of where I’m at in my life on any given day and just sort of show up and not, you know. And I think I know what to do. I have the knowledge. I tell myself that a lot where I’m like, listen, if I wanted to “fix” this problem, if I wanted to lose ten pounds, if I wanted to help my anxiety through my diet, if I wanted to get a strict pull up. If I wanted all these things, I know what I would need to do, It’s not a mystery. It’s just a matter of, is that really where I want to put my time and energy right now? And the answer is pretty much, “No.”
Joy: There’s too much bread to be had and pies to be baked.
Claire: But I still go to the gym, right now like four to six times a week, which is the most I’ve been going in the past year. And that’s because it’s the only time that I can get out of my house, and that’s truly it for me.
Joy: That’s really good for you. It’s good for you mentally in so many ways to interact with people, yeah.
Claire: It’s so good for me. I feel better mentally right now than I have in probably even since before COVID. It’s night and day when I’m able to get out of the house regularly and be around other people regularly, let alone work outside every once in a while. That for me is truly one of the biggest keys to my mental health, and I really prioritize that for so many reasons because then it helps me be a more present parent, it helps my marriage. If there’s this one activity that I can do for an hour a day that has all these benefits, then yeah, I’m going to do it. For me, that happens to be driving 25 minutes across town to go to my CrossFit gym. But if that activity for me was baking or gardening or washing my car or painting or whatever then that’s what I would pick. I was thinking about this the other day too. I was thinking about the rhetoric of people, “I need to work out in order to be my best self.” Yeah, that’s true. But the assumption there is that, first of all, all my other needs are met and, second of all, my “best self” is always accessible and attainable and that I should expect that to be my baseline. And that’s not the case. We’ve talked about how happiness shouldn’t be your baseline. “Well just do whatever it takes to be happy.” No, I don’t want to be happy all the time. My baseline shouldn’t be, “I’m in such a good mood.”
Joy: No way. And that’s not sustainable. That’s not how we’re wired.
Claire: It’s not sustainable. That’s what I’ve been thinking about when it comes to this idea that I need to work out to be my best self. Then people go straight to, “Okay, then I what can I do to prioritize working out?” No, what that statement actually means is working out is the very tip of my pyramid. That is the last step to being and feeling as good as I can feel. But everything else is below that. Sleep, anxiety, eating regularly, drinking enough water, having a job that I feel –
Joy: What do you mean about anxiety? Like, managing it?
Claire: Yeah, right. Getting enough sleep and helping manage my anxiety. I always say managing my anxiety is also a – what’s the opposite of a cause? An effect… “What’s the opposite of a cause?” [laughing].
Joy: What is the opposite of cause?
Claire: Effect, thank you. Ten points for Claire. And just that when I have all of those things, then I can add working out on top of it. And yes, then that puts me over the edge into feeling like, “Okay, now I’m in the groove.” But I’m not going to choose working out if I don’t have good sleep.
Joy: Such a good point.
Claire: To this day… I read something a while ago that said if you are routinely missing gout on sleep in order to go work out, you’re stepping over dollars to pick up pennies.
Joy: I like that a lot.
Claire: Yeah, it just says it so succinctly. Yeah, working out, there’s not no value to it, but you’re really missing out on a whole lot if you’re not getting enough sleep. When the kids were really little, I started a rule for myself that I still do which is if I have gotten fewer than six hours of sleep –
Joy: I remember you saying this.
Claire: – or fewer than four hours of uninterrupted sleep, then I don’t go work out. And when the kids were really little, it was just the six hours of sleep rule because four hours of uninterrupted sleep was not available to me. But now I’ve added that in because I need a chunk. Then I don’t go work out. Whatever, I’ll get the $10 no-show fee. I’ll be that person that signs out ten minutes before class starts. Oh well.
Joy: Oh well.
Claire: I feel a little guilty because that means somebody else maybe couldn’t have gotten into the class. But it is what it is. That’s the line I have to hold. And then there’s other stuff like that too. Like I’ve gotten into a better routine with eating, which for some reason it’s hard for me to remember to eat when I’m out of my groove. I would say the big thing, the big outlier still that I haven’t quite – this is going to sound so silly – is bathing and my physical, like doing my hair and washing my face. All these things, I just don’t care. I wish I could –
Joy: Like, cleaning yourself?
Claire: Cleaning myself, body care. I wish I could delegate that. I wish I could have someone else shower and have it transferred to me. I don’t know. Anyway, what about you?
Joy: Well, I was just going to say. You’re in a pandemic. You’re at home. You just have to deal with your family. It’s not like you’re going –
Claire: You don’t know this right now, but I smell terrible.
Joy: [laughing] I will never forget the time when we would record on our bedroom floor, and I think one time you’d cooked onions or something.
Claire: It was garlic, something garlicky. I had done a workout, gone home and cooked something with garlic, and then come to your house. And you were like, “Claire, you smell really bad.” It wasn’t just garlic. It was body odor garlic, vampire body odor.
Joy: It was so bad. And we had to shut the door, and the room smelled for like two hours. It was so funny. You were like, “I just cooked garlic, and I just worked out.”
Claire: I apologize for not changing my shirt before coming over.
Joy: So I would say a lot has changed, obviously. I mean, we grow as humans. When we know better, we do better. When we first started the podcast, we were starting out with CrossFit. CrossFit was fairly new to us. The diet world was fairly new to me in terms of actually doing a diet. So when we counted macros, that was all very new to me. And I talked a lot about where I stood with eating and exercising in my past on the Girls Gone WOD show. So I’d say after going through all of that with CrossFit and being competitive and eating and the diet and getting in a really unhealthy place with eating and coming back now – I kind of fast forwarded through all of that. If anyone wants to go back and listen to all the Girls Gone WOD episodes, feel free. They’re there. But I feel like now I look at that and I go, “Oh, it’s because I just didn’t know better.” It’s because I truly thought with every decision I ever make, I truly think it comes from a place of curiosity and wanting to try things. I like to challenge myself. But unfortunately there is a characteristic and a personality trait in me that will take that to an unhealthy level in some instances. So now obviously dealing with what I’m dealing with with Graves’ Disease is putting me in such a mind screw of my doctor telling me in order for you to be your best self, you can’t work out. You can’t get your heart rate up. You have to sleep. Prioritizing eating right, meaning for me eliminating things that I have an intolerance to, eating foods that nourish me, eating enough food. Which thankfully now my appetite’s back so that’s not been a problem. But the not working out and increasing your sleep and making sure you’re drinking enough water and blah, blah, blah, that is the priority of health for me. That’s just such a weird thing for me to be at right now. Looking back at ten years ago, I’d be like, “I want to run marathons when I’m 50.” And now I’m like, “I just have to walk my dogs and take things pretty slow.” And when I’m in the gym, I lift weights. And then if my heart rate gets up, I sit down. I sit on the bench, and I take some rest. It’s no longer difficult for me. I’m not going into the gym being like, “Oh, I can’t believe I haven’t done this in forever” and “I haven’t done a pull-up.” Thankfully I’m in a place where I’m just glad that I’m here. I’m glad that my blood work is looking better. I’m glad that things are improving. So as far as what I eat now, I eat what I feel like eating. And I don’t like to do what you ate in a day because I don’t think it matters, but I think I listen to my hunger cues. I eat within the first hour of waking up because my doctor tells me to. And so that is simplifying it in a way of being the more intuitive eating approach, and I will praise that to the mountain tops and hope that Evelyn Tribole will come on our podcast at some point. I would say it’s a matter of just saying I’m prioritizing my health and not what my physical appearance looks like. And I say that with, kind of going back to the diet culture stuff, of when we first started the podcast, Instagram was fairly new. Right? It wasn’t super in the realm of possibilities with diet culture.
Claire: It wasn’t what it is now.
Joy: It definitely was not what it is now. So I feel like diet culture just really took a turn for the worst on Instagram, to the point of emphasizing thinness as a goal. Which really is ridiculous. But I think back then I was more in that camp of, “I’ve got to work out to eat.” Food and workouts were transactional.
Claire: Yeah, it was kind of a joke. “Oh, I work out for tacos” and “I got to go get my burpees before this Frappuccino.”
Joy: Workout for wine.
Claire: This 150 burpees, and yeah, it was kind of cute and funny.
Joy: Yeah. And it’s still there. When I’m on Peloton, because I do walks on there, I’ll see people’s screen names because you just make up a cute screen name. And there will be tons of screen names like “work out for tacos,” “work out for win,” “I run for carbs” or whatever. It’s still going to be there, and that is very tongue and cheek. But I just think at the end of the day, I’m at a place where prioritizing health for me is what do I need to do to have all my labs look good. Not, can I fit into this pair of jeans or whatever. Can I do this number of pull ups. It’s just totally, totally changed. And I realize my case is a little more extreme. It’s not like I just all of the sudden had this epiphany of diet culture, but it’s been a journey. I have to weigh myself for data. I’m not weighing myself – and this was back in September or October when this all started – I was weighing myself pretty regularly because I was like something is not right here. And now I have to monitor my weight for my health. Let me be clear and just restate this. I know we say this all the time. But for me, my body weight is a certain number for my health. So I’m not saying that everyone out there has to weigh themselves for their health, but for me, because of my diagnosis, I can’t lose more weight because that will tell me that things aren’t getting better. I have to watch to see if I’m gaining weight. It’s a real mind fuck too because I have to step on the scale again and watch my weight. Watch my weight meaning monitor my weight for data. That’s something where I’m like, wow, back in the past I was really weighing myself for diet culture crap. It’s better I guess. It’s better in the sense that I’m not worried about the diet culture crap, but it’s not better in the sense of I am still struggling with my health.
Claire: I feel like, too, there’s a big component of it, as we’re talking about this, I think that, not that we’re rambling, but you can tell it’s not something that we think about all the time because it’s not as cohesive as it once was. And I think that’s a good thing. I think that it shows that we’re both at a point where this isn’t always in the forefront of our minds anymore. Again, it’s something that never goes away, it might never go away.
Joy: I don’t think it ever will. I think it never will. I think being a human means you compare yourself with others, and you can compare yourself but you can’t take it down a road of shame or guilt or “I should” or “I should do this” or “shoulda woulda coulda.” That’s just really, as a human we’re always going to compare. I think that’s just innate human nature.
Claire: Yeah. And I also think that there is, when you went through all of your formative years believing certain things, that’s always going to be in the back of your head. If you went through your adolescence and teenage years and maybe even before that and definitely after that believing that you should always be on a diet or believing that you were supposed to look a certain way that was unattainable for your body type – or even if it was attainable, it wasn’t natural, it wasn’t your natural state of being – then it’s going to be hard to move away from that ever. But I think there’s a difference between recognizing, “Oh isn’t that weird that I still think that” versus, “Oh my gosh, I’m still controlled by this.”
Joy: Exactly. And I think a lot sometimes too, because I think about growing up and the environment I lived in. Gosh, my mom is the most neutral, supportive, she never talked about her body negatively. She never had diet food in the house. She was a good role model around that, meaning it just wasn’t an issue in our house. It wasn’t brought up. So I think a lot about the environment that I was in in school. Oh yeah, I can point to every single time I felt like I wasn’t, I wouldn’t say “good enough,” but I wasn’t the shape that was desirable.
Claire: Right, whether it was in your house, whether it was in your school, whether it was the Cady Heron moment where it’s like, I used to think there was only fat and skinny, but now I realize there’s a lot of things that could be wrong with you.
Joy: Which is interesting. Let me just say that about body imagine – not body image, but just socializing with junior high and high school right now, is I’m really curious from parents to see if there’s anything going on with your child around socializing and bullying or feeling like you’re comparing to someone else. Because most kids aren’t together, so is there less comparing, is there less bullying, is there less drama?
Claire: But also there’s a lot more time online.
Joy: Yeah, an online bullying is the worst sometimes. I’m wondering about that because that’s just going to be really interesting about how that forms that generation.
Claire: Yeah, for sure. Okay. So taking an extreme right turn, the other day I was in the grocery store and I was standing in line. I had my cart. I was up next. And I only had a few things in my cart. Normally it’s me and the whole circus at the store, and I only had a few things in my cart this time. I was standing there, and it was pretty busy. I started thinking, “Man, I feel so anxious right now.” I’m so nervous. I don’t want to miss – is it my turn? Do I go? So then I texted Joy and Jess, and I was like, “Am I the only person who feels this way?”
Claire: When I’m standing at the front. And not all stores are doing this, but a lot of stores now they have it where you line up in one, huge, great line and then you have somebody at the front who directs you where to go. So this is the situation at my local grocery store. And as I’m standing there waiting to go, it felt like –
Joy: Do I go? Do I go?
Claire: Now? No?
Joy: Or if you’re in line and you miss someone waving you’re over. Any time someone is waiting because of you is the worst thing. And entrance and exit is sometimes different now, so you can’t exit and enter in the same doors. One for entrance, one for exit. And I’m also like, “Oh my gosh, I’m getting it wrong.”
Claire: Right, I failed at going to the grocery store. There didn’t used to be a right and a wrong way to go to the grocery store, but now there is.
Joy: Now, it’s like, “Oh my gosh, Joy, put my” – some stores they don’t allow you to put items on the belt until they’ve wiped it off from the person before you. So it’s like, okay, if I put something on – yeah, all the rules are freaking me out. Speaking of the grocery store, I was going to tell this story but then I was like should I tell this story? But I’m going to tell this story. So I went to see my parents this weekend. They live in a really small rural town. They’ve lived there for, what, almost 20 years?
Claire: Oh wow, really? I didn’t realize they lived there for so long.
Joy: No, they’ve lived there for a long time. They moved there the year that I graduated from grad school, so they’ve been there for quite some time. So I’ve been there plenty –
Claire: You graduated from grad school 20 years ago?
Joy: Well, 18. 18 years.
Claire: I know that we don’t talk – as you guys know, Joy is almost exactly 10 years older than me. Right now it doesn’t really feel like it matters. But 20 years ago, I was in 8th grade. Those are the moments where I’m like, 20 years feels like a long time. Go on.
Joy: I was 25, I was so young. So anyway, been there plenty of times. It’s the cutest little town. Love it, my parents love everyone there. All of her little friends, she goes bowling, it’s adorable. And volunteer at this cute little railroad club where they restore the depot. It’s just so cute. But I also know that it’s a very conservative town, like really conservative. Like we drive through this past year, there’s Trump-Pence signs everywhere. I think I said last year during the 4th of July –
Claire: Right, that it basically became a Trump campaign parade.
Joy: It was Trump campaign parade.
Claire: Like guys with guns standing in the back of their truck, yeah.
Joy: Oh my gosh, it was crazy. I’m like, okay, this is not for me.
Claire: Yeah, I’m just going to grab another cup of coffee and go home.
Joy: I’m just going to go get some coffee and get out of here. And so, I mean, my parents live in the foothills. They’re really kind of away from the town, but every once in a while we have to go into town to get whatever. So when I was there this past weekend, I went into the grocery store. And granted we’ve been to this grocery store in the past year, since the pandemic had started. I think it was this summer and this winter, like in December we went. Everyone had masks on, I don’t remember anything really jarring about it. But this time, there were handfuls of people not wearing masks in the grocery store. We had –
Claire: Which as a reminder is illegal in Colorado. I’ll say it again. It’s an executive mandate. It’ll illegal for you not to do that.
Joy: So I had gone to the butcher shop – there’s this cute little butcher shop around the corner – to get some meat and things for dinner. And in the butcher shop, they had this cute little sign that’s like, “I know it’s a mandate, you have to wear a mask. Just cover your face.” It was kind of recognizing – so part of me was like, woah, this is a town – and here’s the funny thing. I’ve been going to this town for a long time, but I think because of the political climate, it’s never been so in my face. And so, I’m like, oh wow, but even in the past year I’ve never seen it this blatant. I also think it’s because the pandemic got really serious, and so of course, I haven’t been there every single day since masks have been mandated, but – so I go into the grocery store. The butcher shop was fine, but I go into the grocery store, and I was just livid. I was so livid. And my anger is because, I don’t even need to explain it. You’d be angry too if you really believe in science and the pandemic. I’m walking around people with no masks on. Except for the Amish. I would like to know their beliefs, but they weren’t wearing masks either. And the checkout girl had her mask under her chin like she was giving us a big f*** you. And I’m in with all my rainbow clothes and glitter on my face and I’m driving our Tesla. I’m sure they’re like, “Who the f*** are these people?” And part of me was like, ugh, I was so mad. What draws up in me is, you’re being selfish, why don’t you care about other people. And so we left and I’m like, “Oh my gosh, I’m so mad. “ And Scott’s like, “Joy, this is happening everywhere. This happens everywhere.” He’s like, “Joy, we live in a bubble. We live in a bubble.” And I’m like, “Do we thought?” He’s like, “Yes we do.” And so I just had to kind of vent that because it was a wakeup call to me again. I know this, but when I see it, I really have to be reminded of how much of a bubble I live in. There’s no resolution other than I was angry. I came home to my parents and I’m like, “No one’s wearing masks.” She’s like, “Really? Normally when I’m there, everyone has masks on.” She’s like, “Joy, just let it go. You can’t control everybody”. You can’t police people wearing – but part of me is like, I’m going to call the –
Claire: Right, I’m going to call the health department. And I mean, you could. I was on a call earlier – and I work in the events industry, so people are very, very one year – what’s the saying?
Joy: In one ear and out the other?
Claire: No. Like ear to the ground. People really want to know, are we going to be able to have in-person events in 2021. What are people thinking? How is this going? We had a call today. At the beginning, everyone’s checking in. We have this big event potentially coming up at the end of September. Are we going to be able to have it? And most of the pope that I work with live in Colorado and a couple live in California. And everyone’s like, “Yeah, things are seeming like they’re trending well. A lot of people I know are getting vaccinated. Things feel a lot more optimistic.” And then we had somebody who lives in a different, more conservative part of the country who was like, “I hate to be the Debbie Downer, but that’s not what I’m seeing.” And yeah, it’s just a reminder that, it’s not over yet, A, even though we all want it to be. You can’t let your guard down. And also that we 1000% live in a bubble.
Joy: We one hundred thousand million percent –
Claire: One gillion percent.
Joy: One billion, yeah.
Claire: Miles is in that age right now where he just says random numbers. He’s like, “Mom, I want 11 4 75 million thousand hundred 14 92 thousand dollars.” I’m like, I would also like that many dollars.
Joy: Please, may I also.
Claire: Please. Miles, that is not even a real number, but I will take it.
Joy: The answer is the solution, really, I just kind of was like, to see it in my face, that’s so frustrating. And the other thing, too, is I feel like there’s still the echoes and the ripples of the election where people are still like, “Trump 2020.” When is that going to die down? When is that going to die down?
Claire: I think for me it would be hard, too, thinking this is where my parents are going grocery shopping.
Joy: Yes. That’s what I was angry about. My parents are senior citizens, and they wear masks, and they double up masks.
Claire: Why aren’t you guys taking care of them? Think about them. Think about my cute mom.
Joy: That’s actually really why I was mad. And part of me was like, they have no – I mean, it’s such a small town that I could see the owner of the store being like, “Well, I can’t control everybody, and all these guys have guns.” I could absolutely see the guys that I saw there are the types of guys who would be like, “You can’t tell me what to do.”
Claire: Right, this is a free country, yeah.
Joy: I know that’s stereotyping. You can imagine what the Proud Boys looked like. Truly I’m thinking the owner of the store just doesn’t have the energy or like, “I can’t control this.” Maybe that store owner doesn’t care either, but nothing on the floor to say six feet apart. They’re not wiping anything down. The freaking cash register girl just –
Claire: Yeah, that’s egregious.
Claire: I know.
Joy: Anyway, okay. And breathe. And breathe.
Claire: Alright guys.
Joy: Well that’s the end of this week. It’s almost March.
Claire: We almost made it through without talking about the pandemic. I know, it’s almost March, it’s almost daylight savings. We almost made it out of the winter tunnel.
Joy: I went on a walk today in a t-shirt and shorts.
Claire: I know. I did a workout yesterday in the sun – this is the beautiful thing about Colorado. The days are getting longer. I feel like even though we turn back towards the sun in December, January I don’t really feel it. Towards the end of February, into March, I’m like, okay. Right now it’s 5 o’clock. It’s still plenty of sunlight outside.
Joy: I feel it. It’s so great.
Claire: I’m like, okay, we’re going to get there.
Joy: My tulips are coming up already, and I’m really nervous they’re going to die. Every year, I’m like it’s too early, it’s too early.
Claire: It’s too early, come back. Why are you here?
Joy: Really, really quick. The last thing I want to say, too, is are there any listeners in Texas? If you need anything or if our community can support you, you can email us or DM us. Maybe we can put something together for our community to support you guys. And we’re thinking of you.
Claire: Alright guys, well thank you for joining us for another week of This is Joy and Claire. You can find us at Instagram at @joyandclaire_. We are on Facebook, This is Joy and Claire. You can email us firstname.lastname@example.org. You can always find us and all of our episodes on our website joyandclaire.com. We can’t wait to talk to you next week.
Joy: We have some that are transcribed that are on our website. Go look for it.
Claire: But it’s random ones. It’s not all of them.
Joy: It’s like the last ten ones of our This is Joy and Claire.
Claire: Yeah, so if you want to read along or send one to a friend who would rather read it, please do that. And as a reminder, the best way to support our podcast is to share us with a friend.
Joy: Share it.
Claire: We would love it if you would do that. Alright, we’ll talk to you next week.
Joy and Claire: Bye.