55: So Long, 2020

December 31, 2020

We have never been more happy to say goodbye to a calendar year. See ya wouldn’t wanna be ya!!

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www.joyandclaire.com

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Audio Length: 49:37 minutes 

Joy: Hey guys, this is Joy.

Claire: And this is Claire.

Joy: And this is Joy and Claire. It’s the last day of 2020. Can I get an, “Amen”?

Claire: See you later, see you never.

Joy: See you later, see you never. See you, wouldn’t want to be ya.

Claire: It hasn’t been good, and it hasn’t been fun, and it hasn’t been good fun.

Joy: It’s been real – wait, what does it say?

Claire: It’s been real, it’s been fun, it’s been real fun. Or, it’s been real, it has not been fun. And you know, I feel like even though we all know that we’re not going to wake up in the morning and have the year 2020 get sucked back into the Jumanji.

Joy: Oh my God, don’t you wish though that you had the Dorothy episode where you wake up and everything’s in color all of the sudden.

Claire: Yes. Or like in 13 Going on 30 where she just wakes up and she’s back in her closet.

Joy: I really want that to happen.

Claire: Yes! 

Joy: I want something to happen and we wake up on –

Claire: Wake up in a closet. Well, not like, you know what I mean.

Joy: Right. You’re like, “I’m 13.”

Claire: Yeah. I don’t want to go back to being 13.

Joy: I really don’t.

Claire: But I also don’t want to have to relive 2020.

Joy: [laughing] Okay, we’re not going to wake up and nothing’s going to happen, we’re going to be the same.

Claire: I just want to wake up tomorrow and come outside and hear a parade and random be like, “Oh yeah, I got us these reservations tonight” just as if nothing ever happened, just be looking around.

Joy: We wake up and go to brunch with all of our friends like we used to do on New Year’s Day.

Claire: Exactly, and everyone acts like nothing ever happened. Even though we know that’s not going to happen, it does feel like – and we talked about this last week, we talked about this a couple of times since the vaccine started getting distributed – it feels like there is a small light at the end of a still pretty long tunnel. But at least it’s there and we aren’t feeling like we don’t know how or when this could end. So it does feel like 2020 we can close a chapter and we start to turn the page.

Joy: Yes.

Claire: On everything and just start imaging what life’s going to be like. Have you seen all those tweets though that are like, “It’s ten years from now. You reach into your jacket pocket and find a mask. ‘Wow, what a crazy year,’ you think to yourself as you quietly stalk around the forest avoiding the cannibal -“

Joy: With your big sword or something like that.

Claire: “- cannibal militia,” or yeah, “with your machete.” Or the other one is like, “End of 2020. Wow guys, we made it. August 2021.” What does it say? “The vulture rats have taken Chicago. Here’s what that means to the Ohio volcano refugees.”

Joy: I think , and it’s so obvious we are so desperate for good news in 2020 that I think we just have to go there, and that’s okay.

Claire: We have to. 

Joy: We have to go there.

Claire: If six months down the road, we’re saying like, “Wow, remember back at the end of 2020 when we all thought that we’re going to put this behind us.” I don’t even care. I don’t even care if I’m kicking myself in six months.

Joy: I don’t either. Let me be happy in this present moment.

Claire: Let me be happy. And I would rather have more optimism now and get kicked in the butt than the other way around.

Joy: Yes, I wholeheartedly agree. 

Claire: Yeah, I don’t know, I just can’t believe it. The other exciting thing about this episode is now we have completed a full cycle around the sun of This is Joy & Claire

Joy: I listened to the first episode of This is Joy & Claire today. 

Claire: Wow, how’d that go?

Joy: I rarely go back and listen. I think this year it was hard for me to go back and listen to the earlier episodes because I just don’t want to hear –

Claire: It’s like a different life.

Joy: Yeah, I don’t want to hear about life when we weren’t in this mess of a year. But it was kind of cute because we introduced ourselves and we talked about our resolutions. You were super into not doing Amazon, buying locally, and getting animals and sharing a cow with your neighbors or friends or whatever. And then we talked a lot about sustainability and putting so much energy into saving the planet and thinking about your choices. And I’m just like, wow, that’s still a priority, don’t get me wrong. But just the thought of how passionate we were about that one thing where now I’m like –

Claire: I know. 

Joy: Now we have to rebuild. I feel like 2021 is going to be so much like, hey guys, everybody out there, don’t make resolutions for yourself. I mean, you can. But make a resolution to rebuild the world. Rebuild the businesses, rebuild the arts, buy tickets to Broadway shows, all those things that people are just dying to get back into that world and they’ve lost their jobs. Anyways, you all know this. But yeah.

Claire: Yeah, and I think, I mean I tried with the pandemic still to be somewhat – like, if anything, when the pandemic first started and we couldn’t leave our houses, I was like, I can’t not. Amazon is something we really, you know, we’ve got to buy diapers and I’m afraid to go to Target. Back when that was still happening. But for what it’s worth, I think it’s more important now than ever to support small businesses. And I know everyone out there who’s going to say it, you can still support small businesses on Amazon. But guess what, you can also support small businesses not on Amazon, and I bet they get a lot more money if you buy from them directly than if you find them on Amazon. But I’m not saying that there’s no such thing as supporting a small business via Amazon. But let’s all be honest that that’s rarely what we’re going to Amazon to do. 

Joy: Exactly.

Claire: I’ll get off my soap box there. It is so interesting –

Joy: It’s kind of funny though because you actually got on the soap box the first episode of This is Joy & Claire. You were like, “I’ll get off my Amazon soap box.” You just got off another one.

Claire: it’s just my never-ending Amazon soap box.

Joy: Full circle.

Claire: And speaking of that, we, if you guys remember also from the different universe that was the beginning of 2020 when we had Dr. Mark Ritchie on the podcast to talk about regenerative agriculture. If you guys remember, he lives in Thailand, and one of his PhD students as well is a listener, and we are going to have them on the podcast at some point in the next couple of weeks to talk about what it was like to go through COVID in a country that did not –

Joy: Was so COVID-free. Compared to us, it was COVID-free.

Claire: Right. And just a completely different experience, a completely different type of country. So I will be very interested to hear that perspective. And if you have any questions about what it was like to go through COVID in Thailand. And again, as always, just one person or two people’s perspectives, but anyway. I’ll be really interested to hear that, especially from somebody like him to has a doctorate, right? In sociology. So that’s going to be fascinating.

Joy: Fascinating. We’re having a good conversation with them on that one, for sure. 

Claire: At first, he was like, “We should talk about this.” And I was like I don’t think I want to.

Joy: [laughing] Why?

Claire: I don’t want to know what it could have been like somewhere else.

Joy: Yeah, when anyone flies in, you are immediately shipped to a hotel to quarantine.

Claire: Yeah.

Joy: Like, you don’t have the choice of just getting of an airplane and being like, “I’m going to go to my friend’s house now.” It’s so strict. Why aren’t we doing that? Okay, no politics, no politics.

Claire: So anyway, here we are at the end of 2020, and before we wrap up 2020, we have been asking you guys a ton this month to just kind of reflect. We’ve been asking a lot about different holiday traditions and really trying to live in the moment and not get too crazy thinking ahead because we know that it’s been hard this year to look ahead, and making plans has not felt good. It’s felt uncertain and scary and stressful, and the idea of making plans has just really felt unproductive in the true sense of the term. Any time that you would make a plan, inevitably it would be changed, and you would be disappointed. But humans need something to look forward to, so then how do we reconcile that? But I think it’s been really interesting to hear the ways that people have really leaned into the traditions that they do have as a way to try and ground themselves in something. Our last episode came out on Christmas Eve, and hearing everybody’s Christmas Eve traditions and the things that they were looking forward to and then seeing all the posts and everything. People really got into it for those who celebrate Christmas, and it just seemed like we all needed that. And people, we still have our Christmas decorations up. We’ll probably keep them up for another couple of weeks, unless our tree starts to die. 

Joy: Unless it becomes a fire hazard.

Claire: Unless it becomes a fire hazard. But we have one real tree and one fake tree, so we can keep the fake tree.

Joy: There you go, yeah.

Claire: So it’s been kind of cool to see that. At the end of the day, people will really dig deep and figure out how to find a little bit of happiness.

Joy: Right, yeah. Because you have to, and I love the present moment thing. I read something today from Laurie Santos who’s the Happiness Lab podcaster and does the happiness course at I think it was Harvard. She had an article recently that was basically like the top things that will make you happier. And one of them really is staying present. And I know that’s not easy to do, it’s just easier said than done. But especially now, like we were talking about earlier, we have to just kind of fantasize about what we think 2021’s going to be. we have to just let that be for now. Who cares if it’s wrong? Right now, we just have to be like, that’s just going to be what it is. 

Claire: Right.

Joy: And we’re just going to be okay with it.

Claire: I think that’s so hard because we all know, every single person listening to this podcast has heard staying in the present moment is the key to happiness, and just being present and not obsessing over the past or obsessing over the future. But it also feels literally impossible to not to either of those things. I don’t know why, it just feels so impossible to sit in the present moment and be like, hey, this is what I’m doing right now, and I’ll figure out what I’m going to do next later.

Joy: Right. And there’s obviously some benefit to being like, I have to do something in a couple of hours. But there’s a difference between recognizing it versus obsessing over it versus worrying over it. But worrying over it or having a lot of anxiety over it – a lot of anxiety is from future tripping. But yeah, it’s not to say we’re all singing kumbaya every moment of the day, but it’s just really like, I’m acknowledging that later today I have to do this, but you’re not freaking out worrying over it. But it’s been so amped this year because we just needed some sort of control and we had none.

Claire: None, zero, zero control. And I think, too, it’s hard to distinguish living in the present versus ignorance of what’s going on around you and what’s the line between ignoring what you need to do and ignoring what you need to do to just be a functioning adult in this capitalist society versus trying to not be anxious and plan ahead too much. I know I’ve talked about this before when I did a NOLS course in my 20s and was out in the woods in the Yukon. I always think about that as probably the only time in my life when I will truly ever experience truly living in the present. Because you really didn’t know what was going to be around the corner. And literally around the corner. You could see only as far as you could see and that was it. We had a map, but it was super old and no one had been in the area we had been in like –

Joy: Why did you have an old map?

Claire: Well because no one had been there for a long time.

Joy: Okay, great.

Claire: The map had been created by loggers flying over the area who were sort of like, “Yeah, I think the river was here-ish.” But no one ever went down there, so they didn’t need a more updated map, so they only created one map, literally 50 years before we were there. We were like, well, we hope this is still mostly accurate. And it still was mostly accurate, but there were definitely parts where we were like, oh this is not what the map says at all. But it was to the point where you were so in tune with the things that you needed where I would eat a snack and then 20-25 minutes later I would feel the energy from that snack.

J :Oh wow.

Claire: I would have to really think, okay, I’m starting to feel a little bit low energy. I need to eat now because if I – you know. It was just that amount of being in tune with what you needed. But I also recognize that there was only one objective in that whole time. The only objective was get to the big river. We’re at a small river, and we need to get to the big one. I was not fielding emails or requests from kids.

Joy: Right, you weren’t multitasking at all.

Claire: Right. Scheduling the whatever pickup or whatever. There was one objective, and I think that that’s really the only way to be really present is to absolutely have a singular focus, which is just not reality.

Joy: It’s just not reality. And I think the thing that is important for us right now is we never have that luxury of just having one single focus. But can we just acknowledge our feelings and not go on the train of anxiety. I think presence so much is just acknowledging what you’re feeling in that moment about certain things. So if you’re all of the sudden having this anxiety thought, are you going to jump on the anxiety train and take it or are you just going to be like, oh, I’m kind of worried about that but right this moment I can’t do anything about it. So kind of just acknowledging that piece of the feelings you have in the moment. And I think that’s just easier to grasp than being like, I’m just in this present moment right now and I’m just going to stay here. Because that’s just not possible. But when you start to worry and take the train to either depression or anxiety or whatever other feelings that you have, that’s when it really helps to do the tactile, doing something, smelling something, tasting something to just put yourself in the present moment. I think that is just really simplifying it, but at the same time, realistically us as humans can’t do that every moment of the day. It’s just not how we live.

Claire: Right. You just have too much going on. And the other thing is when I experienced that trip, everyone was on the same page. Because that’s the other things, it’s also pretty much impossible to “live in the present” unless every single other person around you is in that exact same mindset.

Joy: You just made me think of Iceland. The moment we were in Iceland and we were standing around that fire, that huge bonfire. That was the moment when I was like, I will live here forever. I’m going to live right here forever. I put a screensaver at work. I was like, this is where I want to live. This is where I want my soul to be. If anyone wants to find me, I’m at that bonfire in Iceland. 

Claire: In a field with a bunch of sheep around me.

Joy: Yes. That’s what I think of. Everyone else was with us. Everyone else was 0-

Claire: Right, and you’re all in that moment.

Joy: We’re all in that moment. So great.

Claire: But I think that’s not, and you know, that was a, hey, we’ve all been together for a week, we’re going to have this intention in this moment.

Joy: Yeah, for sure. But remember when Jono at the beginning of the trip, he was like, “I want everyone to be present for this trip,” and I totally took that. Everyone really took that.

Claire: Totally. And I remember hearing him be that and being like, yeah, okay, uh huh, we’re all going to be present. But our phones weren’t really working. Well, yours was. Most of our phones weren’t really working. You and Scott got the international plan. Of course, Scott did. And I thought that way in Costa Rica too. Any time I think of a time where I really was able to be present, it’s because I had, honestly, A, little to no access to technology and then, B, didn’t have assignments due or have to worry about emails. I wasn’t on the clock for anyone else but myself. Unfortunately that set of circumstances is just few and far between for most of us. And that’s fine because we have to live in society.

Joy: We have to work. We have to get our responsibilities done.

Claire: We have to have jobs. We have to pay our bills. We have to raise our kids. So how can we find little moments of being present within that rather than – I think I personally at least write off the concept of being present because I’m like, I can’t do that, I can’t go be a shaman in a cave somewhere guys. That’s not my life. And so therefore I’m just not going to do any of it, as opposed to taking the other, probably more correct viewpoint, which is, okay, I have two kids, my husband works a lot, life is crazy, I don’t leave the house. So how can I find moments in that of feeling present in a world and a day-to-day life where I don’t feel like I have a lot of control over what I do, like over my daily agenda. Most of my day is pretty much dictated by work/parenting.

Joy: So let me give a suggestion because you brought up something that really sparked an idea for me. From what I understand, too, of presence and meditation and just kind of using that as a tool throughout life is throughout your busy day, presence can really be in between the moments of life. So you have a conversation with a coworker – I’m just using an example – or if I get an email that takes me up. Instead of going down the feeling pole, I’m just going to sit there. I’m going to be like, okay, I’m going to choose to not take that road. I feel like that’s presence, when you’re acknowledging that this is causing an emotion and you’re kind of taking a pause before you just react. I think there’s some beauty in that moment of just kind of contemplating, rather than just running through life without thinking.

Claire: Right, and I feel like I’m pretty good at that. I don’t really have strong –

Joy: You are good at that.

Claire: I’m not really a reactive person.

Joy: No, you’re not at all.

Claire: I mean, I am when I’m parenting. 

Joy: I think everyone is.

Claire: Small kids can be jerks. 

Joy: You don’t think there’s one parent that would be like, “Yeah, I’m super present when I’m parenting my kids when they’re running around the house like -“

Claire: I never scream at my kids ever. Said no one. Oh my goodness, in the parenting update world, Evie is sleeping better.

Joy: Oh good. Good, good, good.

Claire: Which makes me feel like we kind of have our eyes back. The hardest thing about her kind starting – not kind of. Just one day, the switch flipped and she started screaming bloody murder every time we put her in her crib. The hardest thing about that was almost every parent listening to this or anyone who’s ever spent any time around small children can definitely appreciate, them sleeping is the only time that you get. And they need to go to bed at 7 or whatever so that you can have some time to think your thoughts before you have to go to bed. And they need to nap in the middle of the day so that you can have some time to think your thoughts in the middle of the day for an hour. And Miles doesn’t nap anymore, but anytime Evie naps we just put on a movie for him and he kind of has low-key quiet time. That used to be my time to, you know, when I’m working and Maxine has the kids, but even then, that’s Maxine’s break too. And during the weekend or whatever, that was our time to maybe do a workout in the garage or just sit on the freaking couch.

Joy: Yeah, whatever you want to do.

Claire: Whatever you want to do. And Evie’s getting a little bit older now. She’s almost two, which is insane to me. To the point where I don’t have to be in the room with her every second of the day to hope she’s not dying. But I have to check in on her every five to ten minutes to make sure she doesn’t put something in her mouth or something. Or her favorite in this planet is to play in the kitchen sink. We just turn the water on, just a little dribble.

Joy: Oh yeah.

Claire: Hours. Hours of entertainment.

Joy: I used to do that with my nieces. Loved it. Like doing dishes, they would pretend to be doing dishes. It’s great, yeah.

Claire: And the whole floor just soaked with water every single time. I’m like, we’re going to have water damage in our subfloor, and I don’t even care because –

Joy: Because you’re busy and she’s having fun.

Claire: But more than once, I have turned around and she has been holding a kitchen knife.

Joy: [laughing] Oh my God. Oh no.

Claire: Yeah. Because it’s in the sink or something and I just don’t realize it and she goes over there, and I turn around and I’m like, okay, slowly approach the toddler and slowly take the knife out of her hand. And that’s the thing, you can’t freak out because then they freak out. You’re just like, la la la, it’s fine. Hand Mommy the knife. Thank you, I was looking for that. Yeah. Can I please have that giant kitchen knife?

Joy: Because the second your face gets like this, they’re like “Woah.”

Claire: Or they’re like, if you need this so badly that must mean it’s valuable, and now it’s mine. So now you’re wrestling with a toddler over a knife.

Joy: You do not want to get into a “this is mine” situation.

Claire: While they’re standing on a step stool. 

Joy: All red flags.

Claire: It just escalates so quickly. That is an example of, she has to be watched. Anyway.

Joy: [laughing] Example.

Claire: You know, because she will –

Joy: She’ll just grab a knife.

Claire: If you leave a knife out, she will find it. And I didn’t do anything different. I just think, somebody’s listening like, “Give me your sleep tips.” I don’t have any sleep tips. The thing that we did finally start doing that has made a difference is that when she falls asleep, we have to leave her door open. But she’s such a  light sleeper, and I’ve been saying this her whole life. She’s always been a light sleeper. So when she’s falling asleep, the rest of us have to be in the basement/

Joy: Oh, wow, okay. Because if she hears anything. And you said she’s at that age where she has the fear of missing out, a little bit of FOMO.

Claire: Yes, this is major baby FOMO. And so you have to leave her – anyway. But it’s just been so nice because it feels like, okay, we kind of have a little bit of that time back to be able to actually relax at night. Although all you people –

Joy: All y’all.

Claire: All y’all people. Do I have to say all people, or do I have to say y’all? Probably not. Somebody, y’all expert, please weigh in. Is all y’all people redundant? Paging [00:21:27.13 UNCLEAR].

Joy: Paging [UNCLEAR].

Claire: I need to know.

Joy: Sorry, I totally just off course.

Claire: That’s right. So the people who were like people who have their life together always do the dishes at night, because I talked about how I always do the dishes at night, I can’t do that anymore. It’s taken away from me. I can’t clean the kitchen. And loud noises. Cleaning the kitchen can be loud. And we have a metal sink. So if you drop something in the sink, it sounds like that part in Lord of the Rings where the hobbit pushes the suit of armor down the well inside the catacombs or whatever. You guys are yelling at me because I’m calling it the wrong thing. I’m sorry if there are any Lord of the Rings aficionados listening right now.

Joy: I can’t correct you because I have no idea, but yeah.

Claire: Absolutely not. But basically, you might as well be playing the steel drums. So we’ve been having to clean the kitchen, but you can’t get it all the way clean before you’re done eating.

Joy: Okay, so sleeping has improved?

Claire: A little more sleeping.

Joy: Good.

Claire: Have you seen the new Wonder Woman yet?

Joy: Yes.

Claire: How was it?

Joy: It was good because Kristen Wiig is in it, I love it.

Claire: I can’t wait to see it. I really, really want to.

Joy: Here’s the thing. You’re going to love it because it’s great. It’s a great action movie. It’s great girl power. It’s awesome, it’s well done. There’s some parts that I was a little bit bored, but whatever. Overall, I was very –

Claire: That’s okay. It doesn’t have to change your life.

Joy: Yeah, not life-changing, but your eyes are going to be like, this is great, I’m going to look at this. There’s beautiful people. There’s beautiful action scenes going on. 

Claire: Kristen Wiig is a villain?

Joy: She’s a villain, and she’s really good. She’s really good at it.

Claire: I’m obsessed with her.

Joy: Like, you don’t watch it thinking, oh my God, this is so Kristen Wiig There’s a couple moment where you’re like, this is what you did in Bridesmaids. But you know what? As a villain, she was awesome.

Claire: It’s fine.

Joy: I really cannot wait to watch Soul.

Claire: Oh, I did watch Soul.

Joy: Don’t give any spoilers, but you liked it?

Claire: It was pretty good. I would say, same kind of thing. I was ready to be blown away, and it was very good but not like best Pixar movie ever good. The thing about it is it’s a pretty heavy feat. The theme is all about finding your soul’s purpose. That’s a pretty heavy theme to tackle in a kids’ movie. And I don’t feel like they quite nailed it because I feel like they would have had – I mean, that’s like a post-doctorate theology course, right? Not like an hour and a half long Pixar movie. And unlike Inside Out where you’re like, how did they nail that, how did they make this super complex, abstract thing and turn it into a movie that is totally unbelievable. This one is like, okay, I see where they were going. They got there, but maybe not quite as elegantly as I was expecting. I don’t know how they could have done it better. I think they did the best they could have done, but I feel like the theme may have been a little big heady for a kids’ movie. 

Joy: Sure.

Claire: Which is fine. One of the main voices is Tina Fey, which I love. 

Joy: Of course we love her.

Claire: At first, you’re listening, and you’re like, who’s voice is that? Why do I know that voice? And then you’re like, oh, it’s Tina Fey. And there’s this one really funny line where – I won’t give too much away – where they’re talking. She’s one of the souls. And the guy asks her, “Why do you sound like a middle-aged white woman?” Like, aren’t you supposed to be this baby soul. And she’s like, “Oh, I can sound any way I want.” She goes through all these different voices. She’s like, “But I just pick this one because it’s the most annoying.” It’s so great.

Joy: I’m going to watch that. It’s next on my list for sure.

Claire: Yeah. It’s pretty good. And I think the other thing was, I was watching it with Miles and it’s definitely too old. Don’t watch with a 5-year-old. He didn’t get it. It wasn’t interesting to him, and he didn’t really like it. So many that’s another reason why I feel like it a little bit missed the mark because I had to spend the whole time explaining to him what was going on.

Joy: Right. It’s like a Pixar movie for adults.

Claire: I mean, it really is. But I think with older kids, it could really spark some conversations. Miles isn’t there. He’s barely turned 5. So I’m not going to sit there and –

Joy: And talk about a soul’s purpose. What is your soul’s purpose, Miles?

Claire: Right.

Joy: You need to decide. [laughing]

Claire: And at some point, he was like, “Is this movie just about souls?” And I was like, “Yeah.” He’s like, “Okay.” 

Joy: Where’s Frozen?

Claire: There aren’t a lot of falcons in this movie, I noticed. And then we watched this – we’re really into the Disney nature documentaries, which are all fantastic. And we’re watching one that just came out this year with elephants, and it’s narrated by Meghan Markle. She’s not the best narrator. She’s a bit over the top. But for example, the bear one, which I know I’ve talked about, is narrated by John C. Reilly, and it’s unbelievable.

Joy: If you ever want to just be in the present moment or at least feel like the world is so much bigger than you, watch a nature documentary.

Claire: Oh my gosh, but don’t watch –

Joy: Any time I want to feel really small, like I got to level down, I’m too big for my britches, I was a nature documentary because I’m like nature is so much bigger than me.

Claire: Yeah, 1000%. And so much smarter. Don’t watch the latest David Attenborough one.

Joy: Why not?

Claire: Because it will make you feel terrible about our planet.

Joy: Oh no, no. But we have to. It’s one of those things where you should watch, but –

Claire: But be ready. It’s not like a nature documentary. It’s basically a documentary about how global warming is going to kill the earth. Which it is, watch it. Just know that that’s what you’re getting yourself into. Because I watched it not realizing that’s what it was. And guys, that’s where my mind is a lot. This is not a shock to me that humans are murdering the earth – that was a little dramatic. 

Joy: [laughing] Murder.

Claire: Nonetheless, as I was watching it I was like, oh this is dark. [laughing] I wasn’t ready for this, David Attenborough. I thought I was going to get some shark narrating or something, but no.

Joy: So, Soul, not for the young kids.

Claire: Soul, pretty good but not for super young kids. Can’t wait to watch Wonder Woman. I’m like, this is our downstairs movie theatre’s time to shine, this frickin’ Wonder Woman thing. 

Joy: Oh my gosh, that’s going to be so awesome on that huge screen.

Claire: And I’m very excited that this could potentially be the future of movie releases.

Joy: Yeah, I think it’s amazing. You know what’s really weird? Not to bring it back to Amazon. Just kind of the future of where things are going. Scott was watching a football game this weekend that was only available on Amazon Prime. 

Claire: Totally.

Joy: And then all the commercials were for Amazon. I’m like, oh my gosh. Part of me wants to be like, this is brilliant. Part of me wants to be like, they’re just taking over.

Claire: [singing] Buy-n-Large, da da da. This is the beginning of WALL-E

Joy: Oh my gosh, it’s WALL-E

Claire: “B is for Buy-n-Large, your very best friend.” I mean, and also, again, to take it back to Amazon. I know and fully accept that Amazon makes all its money from its cloud streaming services, which every streaming service hosts their content in the Amazon cloud.

Joy: I really do feel like we are just recapping so much of what you said on the first episode of 2020. It’s so funny.

Claire: I know. We’re talking about streaming. We’re talking about the future of cinematic releases. It’s very interesting how it all really does come back to that. Okay, we didn’t get too many voice memos this week to hear about your 2021 goals, aspirations, dreams, visions. And a couple of the ones that we did get, the audio quality was not awesome, so we’re just going to kind of verbally recap them. But we did get one that we can play for you.

Joy: Yes. And I think a lot of this too was from the holidays. People are just busy.

Claire: And I’m not mad about it.

Joy: Not mad.

Claire: I think this is great. I love when you guys participate, and I totally understand when you participate less because the week between Christmas and New Year’s, as we all know, is no man’s land.

Joy: And you should be with your families, and you should be doing things that are not with phones. Unplug. It’s great. Okay, this one is from Cassie.

Cassie [recording]: Hi Joy and Claire, it’s Cassie from Long Beach, California. What I’m looking forward to most in 2021 is actually being able to take my right now 9-month-old sweet little baby girl down to meet her grandma and family in Brazil. My husband is from Brazil, and she was born literally the day the world shut down. It’s going to make me cry. For this pandemic, she didn’t get to – we were actually supposed to be in Brazil right now, celebrating the holidays with them and letting them hug and meet her and snuggle with her and feel her joy. But we’re hoping that next year is out year. She’s going to get down there, and she’s going to meet them, and they’re going to spend all the time in the world with her that they can. And then other than that, he has his interview for his green card on January 11th. So he will then become a lawful permanent resident and life will be great and he can have so many more freedoms offered to him. Another thing I want to say for New Year’s traditions. Claire asked Maxine what Brazilians do. It’s something about wearing colored underwear with white clothes on top. And what color you wear is what you want to happen in the new year. Like your wealth for green or something like that. I think it’s such a cool tradition. And tonight for Christmas, my husband is cooking us a Brazilian feast, and I cannot wait to get home and eat it. Alright, thank you guys. Sorry this is so long. Merry Christmas! Love you, thanks for everything you do.

Joy: I love that tradition. You have to ask Maxine.

Claire: I do have to ask her, and actually Maxine has one au pair friend who I’ve talked about before, who is sort of in our bubble. She came over for Christmas Eve, and they made a bunch of Brazilian Christmas traditional dishes. And so I wonder if I had some of the same foods? I probably did. I had this potato salad that they make for everything and farofa. I’m pronouncing that wrong. Which is like a – what’s that non-gluten flower that starts with a “C”?

Joy: Cassava.

Claire: Cassava. They use cassava as like a side dish, almost as a grit type of thing. But it’s not cooked. It’s dry, and you warm it up and add stuff in it. What else did we have? Oh, they made lasagna but with ham in it, so it was like a ham and cheese lasagna. You know. There was one other thing. Oh, and then the dessert that she made was so funny. It was a Jell-O salad. So every dessert that Maxine has ever made or her friend has ever made for us has condensed milk in it. And I don’t know what in my mind I ever expected Brazilian home cooking to be, but I did not expect it to have nearly as much mayonnaise as it does. Or nearly as much – every sweet thing has condensed milk.

Joy: That is so clever.

Claire: So it was Jell-O. Like, she made all these different flavors of Jell-O and then was supposed to cut them up into different shapes, but they didn’t quite solidify, so she kind of just did them in little chunks. And then a condensed milk Jell-O around them. So it was like these colorful pieces of Jell-O –

Joy: It sounds like Great British Bakeoff.

Claire: Yeah, it was these colorful pieces of Jell-O in like a base of opaque condensed milk Jell-O. 

Joy: Wow.

Claire: It was very sweet. Yeah, it was intense. But I also have to ask her about the underwear thing. We are going to go on New Year’s Eve to that drive-thru lights thing. 

Joy: Oh, so are we.

Claire: Oh, we’re going at 5:30. 

Joy: Which one?

Claire: The Water World one.

Joy: Oh, we’re going to Bandimere. I was like, we’re going at 5:30.

Claire: Oh, you are. That would have been so fun. No, we’re going to the Water World one because it’s a little bit – I mean, Bandimere is pretty far from us.

Joy: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got really excited. I was like, am I going to see you on New Year’s?

Claire: I know. No, sadly. 

Joy: Dang it. What if we went to Water World and were like, “Oh, we just went to the wrong one. Will you take us?”

Claire: I know, right. You should.

Joy: But Cassie, thank you for that voice memo. That was really great, and I love that you get to see your in-laws this year. And for your husband and his green card, that just sounds great.

Claire: That sounds like a huge deal. I mean, it is a huge deal. But I can’t imagine what that would feel like to be so close.

Joy: For sure. And the other thing that I just loved is her voice memo – whenever people send us voice memos, for the most part, it will automatically name it for the street that you’re driving on. And so she was driving on Pacific Coast Highway. And I was like, she’s on Pacific Coast Highway. She’s on PCH, and she lives in Long Beach, can I please go to your house?

Claire: It does that? That’s kind of stalkery.

Joy: It’s not all of them. Some people I think will name them. It just maybe depends on how they’re recording it. But almost every voice memo they send, it just says the street that they were driving on.

Claire: Wow, so heads up.

Joy: Heads up. If you’re sending a voice memo to someone that you don’t –

Claire: We see you when you’re recording a voice memo. 

Joy: We’re after you. Little did you know that we’re a podcast, we’re actually just spying on you.

Claire: Yes.

Joy: Oh gosh. This next one is from Hayden. It’s a little bit hard to hear, but I really wanted to play this one. And her note says, “I hope I didn’t miss the deadline. Just wanted to say thank you for being my weekly study break. As you will hear in the voice memo, I am a medical student, so I spend the majority of my time confined to a computer screen. Every week I go for a walk on a trail near my house, catch up on the latest episode, and connect with nature. I always appreciate the candid conversations as well as living vicariously through your lives in Colorado, which is where I hope to relocate someday.” Thank you, Hayden.

Hayden [recording]: Hi Joy and Claire, this is Hayden. I’m a long-time listener and first-time caller. I’ve listened to you guys since the Girls Gone WOD days. But I wanted to call because I wanted to share my goals for 2021. So I’m a second-year medical student, so you can imagine that this past year my medical education has looked vastly different than what I had anticipated, and I’ve had to adapt a lot. Especially because at the beginning of 2021, I will be taking the biggest exam of my life, which is step one. It’s one of the first board exams that you take to become a doctor, but it’s also the one that right now holds a lot of weight in deciding what kind of doctor you can become. This is a pretty big goal, but it’s an even bigger milestone for me because I wasn’t someone that just went straight from undergrad into medical school. It actually took me four years to get into medical school, so this is a pretty monumental goal that I have. I’m also looking forward to starting my third year and working with patients. I just want to wish you guys a merry Christmas and happy New Year. Also, fun fact. Ryan, who you had on the podcast a few weeks ago, she’s actually a really good friend of mine and introduced me to you guys. Alright, bye.

Joy: We have podcast friends in the house.

Claire: Podcast friends. Oh my gosh. I have had some friends, and I’m sure you have too, who’ve gone through medical school, and I remember the stress of that big first exam.

Joy: Yes, oh my gosh. Thinking of you, Hayden.

Claire: It’s intense. Yes, you can do it.

Joy: Crush it.

Claire: I’m curious what she is hoping to go into.

Joy: Yeah, I’d like to know that too. Write us and tell us. We got an email from Emily. It says, “I have two things to look forward to for ’21. First, a baby due in July. And while I am slightly panicked COVID won’t be gone, we are so excited. Professionally, as a principal I am looking forward to hopefully welcoming kiddos back to school full time at some point. We’ve gone back and forth between hybrid and virtual since last March, and I’m just ready for consistency and to not be on Zoom all day ever again. Also, as an addition to the people who have their lives together” – her afterthought – “people who remember to start assembling Santa gifts before Christmas Eve. Wow, what were we thinking not starting that shit earlier.” 

Claire: [laughing] Yeah. I 1000% can relate to that. Yeah, and you’re like, this won’t be that bad. And you have it hidden wherever it’s been hidden, kind of out of sight, out of mind. You forget that it has like 6,000 pieces and you pull it out, and you’re like, oh no. 

Joy: This is going to take me until 2am.

Claire: I’m going to be up until 2am, and how do I not wake anybody up while I’m doing this. Remember last year, Santa brought Miles a climbing wall? And we had to figure out how to get that into the house.

Joy: Yes.

Claire: It was very… it was an experience, yeah… I can’t believe that worked.

Joy: So do we want to talk a little bit about any thoughts for next year for you? I want to share Scott’s because I asked him before we started recording.

Claire: Yes. So again, just to reiterate you guys, we did get a couple more voice memos than that. We’re sorry if we didn’t play them because some of them the sound quality was pretty bad that we couldn’t really even hear what you were saying. I can’t like recap.

Joy: Yeah, so if you want to maybe resend it, we’re happy to replay it. Just make sure you’re recording in a very quiet place. Cars are great. Cars are the best place.

Claire: But not while you’re driving. 

Joy: Not while you’re driving.

Claire: That’s the thing that I think was actually the issue with some of the ones that we got is if you’re driving in the car, you need to be parked because otherwise we can hear all of the traffic noises. It can just sound really loud. I mean, it sounds like you’re driving.

Joy: Or go in your closet. It’s great a sound-free –

Claire: Yeah, hide in the closet.

Joy: Yeah, hide in the closet, record your voice memo. We would love to play them on a future episode.

Claire: Yes.

Joy: But yeah, for the resolution – I guess we’ll call it resolutions, it’s fine. I said, “Scott, what is your resolution for 2021?” And he’s like, “I don’t want to wear a mask in 2021.” Like, I want to get a point where we don’t have to wear masks. Where you talk out the door –

Claire: At some point arrive in 2021 at a point where –

Joy: Yes.

Claire: My sister-in-law sent a message the other day. I post Instagram memes all the time on my personal account in the stories, and she replied to one of them and was like, this is going to be like that thing that says one day your parents set you down and never picked you back up again. She was like, that will be like this. One day you take off your mask and never put it back on again. I think it was that I had one where I was like, “When this is all over, I’m going to throw my mask in the air like I’m graduating.” But I was like, that’s probably not going to be it. It’s probably going to be, one day you take it off and you put it on your pocket and you just never have to put it back on again.

Joy: Yeah, it’s going to feel so weird.

Claire: It’s going to be amazing.

Joy: I was shopping the other day. I had to return something – [laughing] I returned something.

Claire: Oh my gosh.

Joy: No, it wasn’t me. I was with Scott returning something, so I have to give him credit. He returns things the day after he buys them.

Claire: I’m sure he does.

Joy: I was going through the checkout line, and you know how they have the little doodads on the way out or make you buy little, I don’t know, nail polishes or whatever, phone cases. And there were these masks and headband sets, and I was like, this is a thing. 

Claire: Totally.

Joy: But it was like super sequined headband set with a super sequined mask. And for a mere moment, I was like, this would be perfect for New Year’s Eve. And then I was like, I can’t believe I just said that. Where am I going to go? 

Claire: Right.

Joy: I’m going to wear a sequined mask in my house?

Claire: Nowhere. Yes, you are. I saw something at a Target. They had this really cute display of these – there was like a unicorn and these little kid of keychain things. I was like, what is that? It was a hand sanitizer case.

Joy: Oh, okay. Have you seen the things that look like a key but actually will be –

Claire: Yes. And it’s like to poke a touch screen with it.

Joy: Yeah, touch screen with it, or you can open a door with it, or you can touch an elevator button. I was like, what? That’s crazy.

Claire: Yeah, I have seen those. They make one now that’s a phone case with a little pointer on the tip of it on one of the corners. I was just trying to show you my phone, it’s plugged in. It’s on the corner of your phone and then you can just tap the thing with your phone.

Joy: Oh, that’s crazy.

Claire: I know. But yeah, there were these cute silicone key chains, and I was like, wow. Like, how much longer is this going to be relevant that you need a hand sanitizer case? Like a personalized – hopefully not that much longer. But you know what, hand sanitizer –

Joy: Is always a good thing.

Claire: Has always been and will always be a part of our lives. Like, I always traveled with hand sanitizer.

Joy: Yeah. I just think of, even now when I go to the store and I see hand sanitizer, I always have that moment of thinking, oh I need to buy one before they get sold out. I’m like, it’s not going to happen. It’s not going to happen.

Claire: Yes, yes! I still have that too. I have that with hand sanitizer and hand soap. It took me a while to get over that feeling for butter.

Joy: Oh, butter! Remember, and flour? Wasn’t all the baking stuff was all out?

Claire: Yeah, you couldn’t get flour. They didn’t have bread flour at Whole Foods until halfway through the summer.

Joy: I remember that. That’s what I remember because you were trying to make all of the spread.

Claire: Yeah, and I had to buy this 50-pound bag of flour from some granary in Arizona. I mean, it was great. I was able to support a small grain mill.

Joy: For sure.

Claire: But yeah, I’m looking forward to hot having to ever do that again. Do you have one? Are you going to make one?

Joy: So I have two really quick ones. One is a joke one because Scott and I were just kind of joking around.

Claire: Okay.

Joy: One is that I want to keep my day clothes on until 6 at night. Because I come home and I put on my pj’s and sweats at like 4:30 or 5. I’m like, that’s not healthy, I need to actually have my real clothes on. I can’t give up at 4. Scott is always like, “Wow, you’re in your pj’s already.” It’s like 4 in the afternoon. But the real one is I want to only take feedback – okay, let it get on me. Meaning like, this year I’ve gotten a lot of feedback that I’ve taken it personally when I shouldn’t. So in 2021, I want to only take feedback or advice from the people who are on my square squad. Or that I want to go to lunch with or breakfast with or dinner with or whatever.

Claire: Right.

Joy: Because I just have this really bad habit that someone will say something to me or about me or whatever, and I’ll just –

Claire: You take it a little too personally.

Joy: Very personally. I’m pretty sensitive that way. And it’s not that I’m all the sudden going to be insensitive, but I just don’t want it to get me down.

Claire: Yes. I think that’s a good one. I haven’t really thought of any. Of course there are things where I’m like, oh I want to do more. I really want to have more of a routine of any type in my life. 

Joy: Would you like to have a skincare routine?

Claire: I would like a 12-step Korean skincare routine. I just want to have a rhythm to my day, which right now I really don’t. Back at the beginning of COVID, I really did. I saw this tweet that was like I’ve been in isolation so long that I got into and then back out of shape. And I was like, oh no, it’s me. But for me it’s not really about being in shape. I really had a routine where I would have my day kind of structured out, and I really don’t have that anymore. It really fell apart at the end of the summer when Miles stopped going to summer camp, and then he’s home so much more, and anyway. And I think it fell apart also a lot more when it got – because I also had a little bit more of a routine in the fall when I would go to CrossFit at 5:30 in the morning. But I’m sorry guys, I cannot go to CrossFit at 5:30 in the morning if the sun doesn’t come up until 7:30. 

Joy: Yeah.

Claire: I can’t do it. I’m not –

Joy: Did you notice this morning the sun didn’t come up until like 7:15? 

Claire: Literally. I am not exaggerating about that 7:30 in the morning time stamp. That’s a real thing. I went on a sunrise hike with my friend Heather for the solstice, and I was like, let’s meet at Chautauqua at 6:30, and I texted her and I was like, “Hey, I’m running a little bit late.” She was like, “It’s fine, the sun doesn’t come up until 7:20.” And I was like, “Oh.” Probably should have checked that. But I can’t work out – like in the summer, or even August/September, and even I guess into October, it was okay for me to go to the 5:30 because at least by the time I was leaving the sun was coming up.

Joy: That makes a huge difference.

Claire: But I can’t drive home from the gym in the dark, guys. I’m just a human woman. This is not –

Joy: I’m just a human woman.

Claire: I can’t do it. 

Joy: Yeah. Alright.

Claire: So I’m hoping that I can come up with –

Joy: Some sort of routine.

Claire: Just anything.

Joy: I think this is the year we’re going to use planners.

Claire: It’s really not. But I will hope. I did get a Garmin recently. Did I tell you about my Garmin?

Joy: Cool. No.

Claire: My dad for my birthday gave me a gift card, and I used it to get a Garmin because I used to have an Apple Watch. And I didn’t like it because I didn’t want to have all my iPhone notifications on my wrist all the time. I was like, my phone at any given moment is within arm’s reach. I don’t also need to be getting my text messages on my watch.

Joy: Sure.

Claire: But I liked the tracking component. So I was attracted to the idea of a Garmin because you can sync it with your iPhone but you don’t have to. Whereas an Apple Watch, I guess you could turn off all the notifications, but then what are you left with?

Joy: Yeah, I know a lot of people who like the Garmin watch. Scott actually almost got it too last year.

Claire: Well, and I got the one where you can download Spotify onto the watch, download an offline playlist, and then you can go on a walk without your phone and just play music from your watch.

Joy: Oh, awesome. Like into your headphones?

Claire: Yeah. So it will Bluetooth to your headphones and then you don’t have to have your phone with you.

Joy: Oh, that’s great. That’s a really great one. 

Claire: Yeah, so I’m hoping that that will give me some opportunities to have less time with my phone in the new year. Maybe that’s my resolution I’m making is to spend less time with my phone.

Joy: I like “no phone” time. You know how this week we’re kind of off Instagram?

Claire: Yeah.

Joy: I took it a step further, and I just completely have been ignoring my phone. And it’s great.

Claire: It’s great. I want less phone time for sure.

Joy: Less phone in 2021. Alright. 

Claire: Yes.

Joy: What’s our question for next week? And we want voice memos.

Claire: Please send us your voice memos. This question is completely random, and I’m so excited to get to ask you guys this just at my whim. This is a time where I’m like, man, I’m so glad I have this podcast where I can just do whatever I want. You don’t have to like it. I was in the shower this morning, and I was realizing that I have these habits that I do in the shower, or just self-care habits, that I have subconsciously been doing since I was in high school for no other reason than that I read about them in a magazine once. I mean, I’m not completely sure, but I’m pretty sure there’s no science to back these up. But it was like some beauty editor who was like, “Oh yeah, that sounds good, put that.”

Joy: Oh, totally.

Claire: Like for example, mine is that I wash my body after I’ve rinsed out all of the product from my hair for fear of getting backne. I’ve never had backne. Maybe this is why, but I doubt it.

Joy: The tip worked.

Claire: Either the tip worked, or I’m just not genetically predisposed to backne. So that’s my question to you guys is, what self-care habit do you do that, now that you’re thinking about it, you’re like I have no reason that I’m doing that except that I read it in a magazine in the 90’s and I just never have questioned it since then. 

Joy: Like, does it really work? I rinse my hair with cold water at the end because it closes the cuticle, I don’t know?

Claire: Right. Or it’s like when you wash your face, you’re supposed to start with warm water but then rinse it with cold water because it closes your pores. That can’t be real.

Joy: They’re not like one of those things on the Disney movies where they just close up.

Claire: Right, the little thing in The Little Mermaid. I mean, maybe if you’re a dermatologist you’re going to write in and be like, “It is real.” But I just don’t think it can.

Joy: And then we will be like, great, then we’ve been doing it right all along.

Claire: I just feel like it’s the 1200 calorie rule of skincare. So I would love to know what, if anything – now you guys are all sitting there like, what do I do that’s totally –

Joy: Like nails or moisturizy –

Claire: That doesn’t make any sense except that I read it as a hot tip in a Cosmopolitan in the 90’s. So please send us your voice memos to thisisjoyandclaire@gmail.com. Record them in a quiet place. If you are in your car, if you could do it while your car is parked that would be ideal. If you’re in your house, try to find –

Joy: Sit in your closet.

Claire: Sit in your closet, or even throw a blanket over your head for a second. Don’t overthink it you guys. We don’t need perfect sound quality.

Joy: You don’t have to be a professional podcaster.

Claire: But I will say, it just is hard for us to hear it when you are driving in your car. Or when you’re on a walk. 

Joy: Windy.

Claire: It can really get picked up. But we’d rather hear from you with imperfect sound quality than not hear from you at all.

Joy: Bonus if you have a page from a Cosmo magazine that you can share with us.

Claire: Oh my gosh, if you can dig us up and be like –

Joy: Oh, can you imagine if someone had an old one?

Claire: Amazing. You can also, as always, go to our Instagram which is joyandclaire_ and click on the Contact Us button. it will take you to a Google Voice mailbox where you can leave a message. We can’t wait to hear from you. You can also always just email us and we can read your email on the show. We love hearing from you guys, and I can’t wait to hear what very amazing silly things you all have been doing that now you’re like, oh my gosh, I can’t believe that I’m still doing this. 

Joy: I still use Lip Smackers chap stick. No, I don’t, but that would be funny. Well you guys, we made it. It’s 2020, we’re closing the chapter. We’re moving onto another chapter.

Claire: And it might not be a better chapter, but it’s going to be a different one.

Joy: It’s going to be different, and sometimes that’s better.

Claire: Alright guys. Thank you for hanging in there with us this whole year. Thank you for a year of This is Joy & Claire. It’s been really fun to have this and have this community and we will talk to you next week.

Joy: Happy New Year.

Claire: Happy New Year! Bye.

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